We parted four years ago, and I moved to another city in the hope of forgetting it as soon as possible. I know that he got married, but I can’t live without him, I really miss. In all men I am looking only for him.
Your feelings are similar to obsession. You seem to live in one of the series where love looks like an emotional dependence on another person. Someone without someone simply cannot live and breathe, not to mention other feelings and interests. You, for example, write that after parting you went to another city “in the hope of forgetting it as soon as possible”.
You describe this important and decisive action only as a way to forget a person. You do not mention parting with friends and relatives, a change of lifestyle, work and even climate. You don’t
say anything about a new life in another city. Everything that happens to you, count from the only one – “I can’t live without him”.
Meanwhile, your friend’s life continues – he has not gone anywhere, he has a family, you remained for him with an expensive memory. Yours – stopped.
I think you should seek professional help: the “series” dragged on, and life froze. But working with a psychologist will have a difficult and sometimes painful. Because your “love dependence” is an unconscious attempt to hide from something in life, not to notice something. She frees you from the need to develop, choose, enter into other relationships. Getting rid of the obsession, you will face what you are now hiding in love fantasies. You decide whether the mental life is worth to compete for her.